Sacrament of Marriage

Setting the Date and Time  

What is the Sacrament of Marriage? 

Sacred Scripture begins with the creation and union of man and woman and ends with "the wedding feast of the Lamb" (Rev 19:7, 9). Scripture often refers to marriage, its origin and purpose, the meaning God gave to it, and its renewal in the covenant made by Jesus with his Church.

God created man and woman out of love and commanded them to imitate his love in their relations with each other. Man and woman were created for each other. "It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him. . . . The two of them become one body" (Gn 2:18; 24). Woman and man are equal in human dignity, and in marriage both are united in an unbreakable bond.

Jesus brought to full awareness the divine plan for marriage. In John’s Gospel, Christ’s first miracle occurs at the wedding in Cana. “The Church attaches great importance to Jesus’ presence at the wedding in Cana. She sees in it the confirmation of the goodness of marriage and the proclamation that thenceforth marriage will be an efficacious sign of Christ’s presence” (CCC, no. 1613).

By their marriage, the couple witnesses Christ's spousal love for the Church. One of the Nuptial Blessings in the liturgical celebration of marriage refers to this in saying, "Father, you have made the union of man and wife so holy a mystery that it symbolizes the marriage of Christ and his Church." 

The Sacrament of Marriage is a covenant, which is more than a contract. Covenant always expresses a relationship between persons. The marriage covenant refers to the relationship between the husband and wife, a permanent union of persons capable of knowing and loving each other and God. The celebration of marriage is also a liturgical act, appropriately held in a public liturgy at church. Catholics are urged to celebrate their marriage within the Eucharistic Liturgy.

©2016 United States Conference of Catholic Bishops

Preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage

The decision to marry is both profound and joyous. Couples desiring to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage must be registered in a parish. Parishioners are to contact the pastor to begin the process by completing a comprehensive Pre-Marriage Inventory or questionnaire, followed by an interview with the pastor. This takes place before the wedding date and church is reserved. When the wedding date is finalized the couple schedules a date to begin their marriage formation program. Non-parishioners must contact the pastor to set a wedding date and reserve the church, participate and complete their registered parish's marriage formation program, and secure a priest or deacon to be present for the rehearsal and preside at the celebration. 

The Sacrament of Marriage is part of a wider parish experience of prayer. The Sacrament of Marriage is an act of worship and, although it has its own special quality, should have those elements common and central to all acts of worship. Therefore, the parish’s normal celebration of Sunday (Mass) worship should be the example in preparing the liturgy in which the Sacrament of Marriage will be celebrated within.

The celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage belongs to the whole church. You, the bride and groom, are the principal ministers of the sacrament: you marry each other. You promise each other lasting love and fidelity. You do this before the minister of the Church and the assembly gathered, a gathering of family, friends, and neighbors — the People of God — the Church itself!

Welcome! We congratulate you on the occasion of your engagement and upcoming marriage. If you are considering the Historic St. Boniface Catholic Church or St. Meinrad Catholic Church as the place for you to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage, we want to support and assist you in the best way possible as you embark on this very important and joy-filled commitment in your lives.

The Sacrament of Marriage takes place in the parish of either the bride or the groom. Permission to marry in a Church to which neither bride nor groom belongs may be refused by the pastor of said parish. The bride or the groom must be a registered and worshiping member or the child registered under their parents for at least one year before contacting the pastor to set a date to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage.

Since marriage in the Catholic Church is a sacrament and a lifetime commitment, one of the ways we value and honor it is by taking time to help couples prepare. All parishioners begin this process by completing a comprehensive Pre-Marriage Inventory or questionnaire, followed by an interview with one of the priests or deacons. This takes place before the wedding date is finalized on the parish calendar. Afterwards, couples are required to participate in a marriage formation program, a number of which are approved by the Archdiocese of Indianapolis. Couples who are not parishioners deal directly in this matter with the priest or deacon who will officiate at their wedding.

The Archdiocese of Indianapolis has established that the couple must contact the pastor at least six months in advance of the proposed wedding date. At that time, the pastor will offer several options for a marriage formation program. These options include: Engaged Encounter, Pre-Cana, or Couple to Couple.

All music and songs for the wedding are to be approved by the pastor prior to printing your program.  Submit this information at least sixty days prior to the wedding. No recorded music will be permitted.

The state of Indiana requires that you obtain a marriage license no more than sixty days prior to your wedding date.

Wedding Sacristan

The parish provides a sacristan, to be present for the rehearsal and wedding day. At the rehearsal and on the wedding day, the sacristan opens the church and other reserved spaces and assists the presider as well as the wedding party. On the day of the wedding, the sacristan will prepare the sanctuary and the sacred vessels if needed. As the celebration begins, the sacristan will direct the wedding party procession and will assist the bride in final preparations before her bridal march. The sacristan is also familiar with the facilities and may be consulted for climate control, environment, and decorating. Also, they are familiar of the location of First Aid and AED stations, and may be of assistance in a medical emergency.

Personal Attendant   

The couple is asked to appoint a personal attendant to assist with the pinning of flowers, and clean up and disposal of waste from all areas used by the wedding party. Clean up is not part of the wedding sacristan’s scope of responsibilities.

Rehearsal  

The rehearsal is held on the Thursday evening before the wedding at 5:30 p.m. in the church. The bride, groom, maid or matron of honor, and the best man should be at church at 5:00 p.m. to meet with the priest or deacon to finalize preparations and to sign the marriage license and certificate. 

Those generally asked to attend the rehearsal are: Wedding Party (including ushers), parents, grandparents, lectors, gift bearers, Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, your personal attendant (a designated person responsible for set up and clean up of the church and preparation areas), and servers (if they are not from the parish). The majority of this group needs to be present.

The Celebration

As a general rule, a Catholic couple will celebrate their marriage within the celebration of Mass, with Eucharist. For inter-faith marriages, it is suggested that the Sacrament be celebrated without Mass. 

It is advisable that the bride and groom provide an order of worship (program) for the assembly. It is strongly recommended that very young children (under the age of 5) not be members of the wedding party.

Liturgical Music

The music of the wedding service should assist the assembled believers to express and share the gift of faith. This does not exclude songs from the popular idiom, especially those which can be seen as referring to the human-divine nature of love.

Many catholic churches do not allow the classic wedding march, including Wagner’s Bridal Chorus nor the famous recession music which are popularly used. They are considered secular music. Sacred or classical music may be played.

Dressing for the Day - Dress, Tux, Cufflinks, & Shoes  

St. Boniface (Parish Center) and St. Meinrad (Parish Office) provide preparation space for the bride and her attendants, and the groom and his attendants. These reserved spaces have access to restroom facilities. Spaces are to be left as found upon arrival. The disposal of waste, including flower boxes and food containers, is the responsibility of the bride and groom or their personal attendants, to the outside recepticle.

Food and water may be brought into the preparation area, but it is very important that these rooms be left in order after the wedding is over. Please appoint your personal attendant to remove all flower cartons, waste and personal items from the church and any areas used for preparation, immediately after the celebration. No food is permitted within the body of the church (including the sanctuary, sacristy, vestibles and pew areas).

You, the bride and groom, are the principal ministers of the Sacrament of Marriage.

Other Liturgical Ministers Needed to Celebrate the Sacrament

Presider (Officiant)  

The Presider (Officiant) is a priest of the parish, or with the pastor’s permission, another priest or deacon whom you request. In the latter case, the visiting priest or deacon should be in early contact with the pastor since the visiting Presider (Officiant) will be responsible for completing all marriage forms, conducting rehearsal, and officiating at the sacrament as prescribed by the state of Indiana and the Canons of the Church. Visiting Presiders will respect the guidelines of the parish concerning the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage. 

The bride or the groom must be a registered and worshiping member or the child registered under their parents for at least one year before contacting the pastor to set a date to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage. If not applicable, arrangements for a priest or deacon are to be made by the couple.

Lectors - Ministers of the Word   

Careful attention should be given to the selection of those who will serve as lectors, ministers of the Word. It is recommended that a total number of three family members or close friends be chosen as ministers for proclaiming the scripture readings and the Prayer of the Faithful. Lectors should understand the importance of this role within the celebration and be familiar with serving as a Minister of the Word. Lectors are expected to attend the rehearsal.

Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (EMHCs)  

If you have family members or close friends who are commissioned EMHCs in their home parish, you may ask them to minister at Communion. Three ministers are needed. EMHCs should understand the importance of this role within the celebration and be familiar with serving as an EMHC and have a document from their pastor attesting their commissioning to this ministry. This documentation is to be received at the parish office thirty days prior to the rehearsal. EMHCs are expected to attend the rehearsal.

Ministers of Music

The bride and groom are to contract an organist/pianist, instrumentalist, and cantor as soon as their wedding date is finalized. These musicians are able to help you plan proper liturgical music for the Sacrament of Marriage.

The cantor holds a key position as leader of prayer for the assembly. The function of the cantor is leading a dialogue, a back-and-forth exchange, with the assembly. The responsorial psalm, the gospel acclamation, the Lamb of God, and the communion processional are examples of this dialogue form of prayer. The cantor must be a competent leader of prayer and possess an understanding of the liturgical rite being celebrated. It is not encouraged to have a family member or friend cantor the wedding unless he/she is an experienced cantor or well-trained vocalist. We also ask that the cantor make the request to the assembly to turn off all cell phones and pagers prior to the celebration.

A wedding program, including all musical selections, must be developed and completed at least sixty days prior to the wedding and is to be approved by the pastor prior to printing. No recorded music will be permitted. Follow the order of worship presented in the Together for Life book. A sample program is available upon request.

Acolyte & Altar Servers  

If family members or close friends are regular altar servers in their home parish, you may ask them to assume this ministry. Parish altar servers are also available. Servers are expected to attend the rehearsal. Keep in mind that they may not be familiar with the sanctuary space and local customs. It is recommended that an acolyte from the parish guide and assist them.

Schedule Fees

All scheduled fees are to be paid prior to the beginning of the rehearsal.

Church Usage Fee  $400   

The church usage fee is $400 for registered parishioners, whose census is current and has been on file at the parish office for the past year. The church usage fee is $1,000 for non-members.

*The parishioner rate for weddings is set in order to honor the commitment of registered, participating, and contributing members of the parish.

Organist/Pianist  $200

The bride and groom are to contract an organist/pianist as soon as their wedding date is finalized. Fee may vary if organist/pianist is from outside the parish.

Instrumentalist   $200

The bride and groom are to contract an instrumentalist as soon as their wedding date is finalized. Fee may vary if organist/instrumentalist is from outside the parish.

Cantor/Vocalist  $100

The bride and groom are to contract a cantor/vocalist as soon as their wedding date is finalized. Fee may vary if cantor/vocalist is from outside the parish.

Altar Server  $25  

The bride and groom may request family members or close friends who are regular altar servers in their home parish, to assume this ministry. Parish altar servers are also available upon request. Altar servers are expected to attend the rehearsal. Keep in mind that they may not be familiar with the sanctuary space and local customs. An acolyte from the parish will be appointed to guide and assist them.

Stole Fee (Priest or Deacon)    

A stipend may be offered to the presiding clergy member.

Local Customs for Church Usage

Seasonal Decorations 

Decorations already in place are not to be removed for the celebration of a wedding. This would be particularly true during the Christmas and Easter seasons. The Sacrament of Marriage is a festive occasion celebrated with the liturgical seasons of the Church year.

Wedding Decorations 

Decorating the church may begin after noon on Friday before the wedding. Flowers should enhance the setting, carefully arranged, so they do not obscure anyone’s vision or distract attention from the liturgy. Decorations may never be placed on the ambo, altar, or block the view of Presider’s chair or the bride and groom.

Pew Markers 

Simple markers may be placed on the ends of the pews down the center and side aisles. If floral arrangements are left in church, please place them on the Marian or St. Joseph altars. All decorations must be removed from the church immediately after the photography session. Please appoint a personal attendant to complete this task and to dispose of trash and flower boxes.

Unity Candle 

The unity candle ceremony is not part of the Rite of the Sacrament of Marriage; however, some couples choose to use the unity candle in their celebration. There are several variations to this ceremony, such as lighting the unity candle from candles lit by the mothers. A table is available. Please speak to the coordinator regarding this option. The candle should be simple in design, yet visible to the assembly.

Safety 

Because of safety hazards and obscuring of the assembly’s view, special lighting, such as lighted archways, candelabra, or aisle candles, are not permitted. Aisle runners are not to be used. Flower petals may be scattered down the center aisle, but must be cleaned up immediately after the celebration. Rice, confetti, bird seed, and other materials that are definite safety hazards, and may cause people to slip and fall, are prohibited. 

Restrictions on Church Property   

Alcoholic beverages are not permitted to be brought onto church property (this includes both the wedding rehearsal and the wedding day). Per canon law and state law, no alcohol is to be consumed by the bridal party on the wedding day, prior to the wedding ceremony. Remember, the bride and groom are declaring their freedom and shall be of sound mind and heart. Smoking is not permitted in the church or preparation rooms. The chewing of gum or other substances will not be allowed during the rehearsal or during the wedding ceremony. All cell phones, pagers, and other electronic devices must be silenced during the rehearsal and the wedding ceremony. This request can be made by the cantor prior to the ceremony and added to the program.

Photography & Videography 

Share these guidelines with your photographer and videographer.

Photography may begin 2½ hours before the scheduled time of the wedding. Pictures must be finished 45 minutes prior to the time set for the wedding celebration. The bridal party needs ample time to prepare before the set time to begin.

Following the Sacrament of Marriage, the wedding party may use the church for a period of 45 minutes for pictures.  

Both photographers and videographers are to be courteous and transparent. Pictures may be taken during the celebration without flash or artificial lights, but from behind or to the side of the worshiping assembly without interfering with the celebration. It is strongly suggested to ask that your family and friends refrain from taking pictures with flash during the wedding celebration. All photographers must keep movement around the church to a minimum during the wedding ceremony, since this is a distraction. In the case of videographers, the camera equipment should be placed in a stationary position at all times. 

Any member of the assembly who wishes to videotape the celebration should remain in his/her pew so as not to distract the assembly’s worship. Photography equipment may not be set up in the sacristy under any circumstances.

If you have any questions regarding these guidelines and customs, please speak with the pastor or the wedding sacristan prior to the rehearsal.

Organists/Pianists

Taylor Blalock               
Mary Roos                      
Nolan Snyder                 

Cantor/Vocalist

Adrienne Collignon           

Acolytes & Altar Servers

Michael Blalock
J.D. Brentlinger 
Marshall Snyder

Note: Call the Parish Office (812-357-5533) for individual contact information.                         

Revised April 2024